Surviving A Workplace Bully

This blog post is a mixture of a rant and a way of getting it out of me. Storytime on a Monday evening.

On a snowy April morning, I was nervous about my interview. It went well and I was offered the job on the spot. It was an optician's. However, I noticed that Manager R*'s  behaviour changed immediately. He spoke to me in a harsher way. I didn't know what to think of that.

As the weeks and months went by, he started to be antagonistic towards me and blame me for other people's mistakes. I couldn't defend myself because I needed the job.

There was a day when all the frame stock needed to be counted. A certain co-worker was doing that job. He came all the way upstairs, stood on a stool and shouted down at me that I'm upstairs and not helping that co-worker, while they're struggling to get that job done.
I couldn't say anything, tried not to cry and feel like a kid.

I'm sure other things happened, but I can't remember them.

I made mistakes as a newby trying to learn the job. Here is another incident. I was prescreening a px before she went to have her eye test and I showed the results to the optometrist. She saw it and frowned. Then she showed it to him. She said that the decimal point looked like a 1. He turned around on the spot and said,

"You're fired."

The optometrist was shocked. I was rooted to the spot. Then I turned around, pouted at him and returned to my job.

There was a time when I was quite new and I'd made a mistake, can't remember what. I ran upstairs to the loos to cry in a stall, when I passed by the store's overall manager and let the door bang shut behind me instead of holding it open for him.

Later on, I managed to stop crying and went back to work to find that manager talking to Manager R *. Manager R* later on told me that he talked to him about me and my customer care; how bad it was because I let the door shut in his face. Manager R* said that I would be reviewed in 3 months to see if they would keep me on.

That really pissed me off. I think I probably cried in the prescreening area, in the dark. 😂

OK, this is sounding depressing.  😂

Have you come across a workplace bully? Let me know. I'd love to hear your experiences.

*I really needed that support and didn't get it. That experience was awful in more ways than I can describe. It still feels traumatising in a way. That ringtone for the phone back then sends me straight back there. I'm going to name him here and put this behind me. Manager R * is Richard.

I don't expect him to apologise any time soon. 

Wonder Woman
XXX

Get Your Power Back Part 1

I've been thinking about the times when I felt that I gave my power away; when I felt undervalued or affected by someone else's words.

For the last several years, I've spent time getting to know myself. Recently, I've dived deeper. Every day, I've been practicing being present, choosing happiness over reacting to annoying things and my co-workers moodiness, especially Manager X*. I've gotten better at dealing with challenging situations at work instead of taking things personally or letting anxiety take over. I'm not perfect at all and take each day as it comes.

Manager X* is not a bad man. He reacts in a stressful way to every day work challenges. His emotions; grumpiness, antagonism, micromanaging (not an emotion) 😂 and at times bullying behaviour affects everyone. His emotional backlashes are predictable. I only realised that when I asked myself why I let him affect me negatively, where I'd get anxious and sometimes upset. Making grown people upset at work of all places is unacceptable. When I feel that way, I'd make myself invisible, almost transparent hoping that I wouldn't be noticed.

Anyway, I noticed that I let him make me feel that way. I gave away my power. How do I get it back?

Hence begins the journey. The first step is Get to know yourself. I've been practicing self-care, self-love and being creative. This is an ongoing process. I will update you on my journey.

Take care!

Wonder Woman XXX

Manager X*: This is my current manager and won't be named.